Try today’s free, simple ‘idiot’ test…

Are you offended by Jeremy Clarkson’s remarks? Then it’s possible that you may be a fucking idiot. Check for other signs, like copies of the Daily Express around the house.

Do the media control your thoughts? Well, let’s take the major papers and the BBC. What’s been reported today that might be considered offensive? Apparently, according to, er, every media outlet in the country, that nasty Mr Clarkson was brought on to early-evening thorazine substitute ‘The One Show’ to make some humorously controversial statements about the news. When he did what he was asked on to the show to do (read the transcript, if your soul can take it) some people were so offended that they felt compelled to demand his immediate resignation. (And I’m willing to bet that at least one of them suggested that the pube-headed sultan of smug should suffer the fate that he suggested for the strikers…)

Should you be offended by the remarks? Was he serious? No. Was he witty or creative? No. If you’re going to complain about anything, the low quality of early evening programming that you’re paying for whether you want to watch it or not might be a better starting point.

So if you’re not going to be outraged by Clarkson, what should be getting you worked up into a bar-snug diatribe and almost motivating you to turn off Holby City and write to your MP?

Well, respected economic think tank the Institute for Fiscal Studies had a report out. The Independent noticed and snuck out an editorial about economic injustice.

Boiled down, your millionaire cabinet are using their political power to rob from the poor on behalf of the rich.

Are you offended by that? Are you offended that this report from the IFS has been pretty much ignored by the mainstream media? Are you just a teensy bit pissed off that the majority of the UK have their opinions and news agenda controlled in such a blatant fashion, turning them into dim, indolent zombies, spewing knee-jerk bile at a pre-bilious, manufactured pantomime villain?

No, still angry about the Clarkson thing, huh?

If you’re curious, there’s world news on IPS instead of the One Show and plenty of intelligent dissection of UK media on Media Lens.

If that seems too much like hard work and you’d rather complain to the BBC, here’s an angry letter to delete as appropriate and paste into an e-mail to help ease your troubled brain.

Dear BBC,

as a parent/license payer/prominent Tory I was most offended/disgusted/aroused  by Jeremy Clarkson’s comments on the One Show which I normally enjoy with my family/brain in a jar/cock in a pile of greased money. Does he seriously expect the UK authorities to waste bullets on striking teachers when they should be used on paedophiles/ethnic minorities and liberals/all of the above? This kind of thing has gone far enough and the BBC should revert to showing nothing but ‘Bergerac’ re-runs and ‘Strictly Come Dancing in Antique-filled Second Homes on Ice’ immediately.


Sir Bufton Cotswolds.

You may now return to the gentle anaesthetic glow of the wazzock lantern. Thank you for reading.

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